Because the horses have seen what they do with their sheep..
Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is rudely awoken at 4am by the telephone.
"Hillen, its the Hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word thet the Durex fectory en Auckland has burned to the ground. It is istimated thet the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week."
PM: "Shut - the economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies - wi'll be ruined!"
Hilth Munister: "We're going to hef to shup some in from abroad... Brutain?..."
PM: "No chence!! The Poms will have a field day on thus one!"
Hilth Munister: "What about Australia?"
PM: "Maybe - but we don't want them to know thet we are stuck."
Hilth Munister: "You call John Howard - tell hum we need one moollion condoms; ten enches long and eight enches thuck! That way they'll know how bug the Kiwis really are!!"
Helen calls John, who agrees to help the Kiwis out in their hour of need.
Three days later a plane arrives in Auckland - full of boxes.
A delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes. She finds condoms; 10 unches long; 8 unches thuck, all coloured green and gold. She then notices in small writing on each and ivery one.........
MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE : MEDIUM
A Kiwi walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep in his arms and says:
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies:
"I think you'll find that's not a pig but a sheep, you idiot."
The man says: " Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
How do Kiwi's find sheep in long grass?
Delightful!
How do New Zealanders practise safe sex?
They put a cross on the ones that kick.
What is the definition of virgin wool in New Zealand?
The sheep that can run the fastest.
What do you call 15 New Zealanders sitting around watching the Rugby World Cup Finals?
The All Blacks
Why did the man go to an Adidas store and try to buy condoms?
He was too embarrassed to ask for an All Black jersey.
A man’s body was found in the harbour wearing an All Blacks jersy, pink panties, fishnet stockings and a dildo up his arse. Police removed the jumper to avoid any embarrassment to his family.
God wanted Jesus to be born in New Zealand but he couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
A man's on a driving holiday in New Zealand when he sees a man standing by the road gripping a sheep.
'G'day' says the tourist. 'Are you shearing?'
'No, piss off and find your own.'
What's the worst thing about New Zealand?
It's above sea level.
What do you call a New Zealander with half a brain?
Gifted.
Why do birds fly upside down over New Zealand?
There is nothing worth shitting on.
Why are there always clouds over New Zealand?
God is trying to cover up his mistake.
What is the smallest muscle in a sheeps ass?
A New Zealanders
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