Essays are shit, am I right guys? What is the point of them? We learn shit in school and essays are absolutely pointless. Assignments in general are shit, does anyone actually enjoy doing them? They're a waste of our time, school and social should be different and assignments should be destroyed or removed from the school curriculum.
School ends in two weeks and I am stuck spending my free time writing two essays for classes. I already learnt this shit in class so why am I stuck relearning it again? I'm never gonna use this shit in the future.
This has been another pointless rant brought to you by me :)
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
I'm Back :)
Hey everyone, just like to let everyone know I'm blogging again! Now updating from my mobile
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Saturday, October 9, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
101 Different Things To Call A Vagina
- Vag
- Vajayjay
- Twat
- Pussy
- Gina
- Giney
- Cockpit
- Dick Wallet
- Fur Burger
- Tunnel Of Love
- The Flower
- Muffin
- Snatch
- Magic Cave
- Cooch
- Coos
- Carpet
- Venus Penis Trap
- Venus Triangle
- Slit
- Cooter
- Cookie
- Guavas
- Fanny
- Pink Taco
- Flap
- Calamari Cock Ring
- Cherry Pop Tart
- Cock Cave
- Cock Holster
- Cock Pocket
- Cock Warmer
- Count Flapula
- Coos Canal
- Cream Cave
- Cream Canal
- Crotch Waffle
- Cum Crack
- Cunt
- Davey Jones Locker
- Dead Clam
- Deer Hoof
- Depository
- Dick Deposite
- Dick Dungeon
- Dick Eater
- Dildo Hotel
- DNA Dumpster
- Fetus Flap
- Field Of Dreams
- Flesh Tuxedo
- Fly Catcher
- Fox Hole
- Fruit Cup
- Fuck Hole
- Fun Hatch
- Furby
- Furry Furnace
- Furry Pink Mink
- Fuzzy Wuzzy
- Gash
- Glory Hole
- Golden Basket
- Goodie Hole
- Grand Canyon
- Hairy Potter
- Happy Flappy
- Holy Grail
- Home Base
- Honey Pot
- Hump Hole
- Lobster Pot
- Meat Counter
- Meat Massager
- Midnight Dip
- Mummy Parts
- Mystical Fold
- Worm Hole
- Pandoras Box
- Penis Parking
- Pocket Pie
- Pole Hole
- Poonani
- Poontang
- Poon
- Purple People Penis Eater
- Python Syphon
- Queef Quarters
- Ejaculation Station
- Scrambled Eggs Between the Legs
- Sausage Wallet
- Seafood Six Pack
- Slippery Slide
- Snootch
- Spunk Pot
- Sugar Hole
- The Big W
- Bone Collecter
- Blow Hole
- The Cum Dump
- Nice
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
101 Different Things To Call The Penis
- Doodle
- Weiner
- Wang
- Cock
- Dick
- Shaft
- Pole
- Love Gun
- Sausage
- Trouser Snake
- Salami
- Meat
- Boner
- Blue-veined Junket Pumper
- Ding Dong
- Dipstick
- Dong
- Dork
- Firm Worm
- Free Willy
- Goober
- Hang Down
- Hard On
- Joint
- Joy Stick
- Knob
- Love Muscle
- Love Stick
- Male Organ
- Meat Whistle
- Organic Dildo
- Ol' One-eye
- One-eyed Trouser Snake
- Pecker
- Pee-pee
- Pee Stick
- Piece Of Pork
- Pink Oboe
- Pork Sword
- Prick
- Pussy Plunger
- Rod
- Salty Dog
- Schlong
- Skin Flute
- Flute Skin
- Spunk Stick
- Stiffy
- Throbber
- Tool
- Trouser Trout
- Wanker
- Wee-wee
- Weinie
- Wife's Best Friend
- Willy
- Wood
- Woody
- Dangle
- Little Red Ferrari
- Penatrator
- Wedding Tackle
- Johnson
- Third Leg
- Little John
- Long John
- The Impreginator
- Palm Pilot
- The Incredible Hulk
- Weapon of Ass Destruction
- Bone-Her
- {insert name here} Junior
- Piss Pump
- Fire Hose
- Sex Pistol
- Pocket Rocket
- Shanghi Suprise
- Trunk
- Cum Shuttle
- Twinkie
- Breakfast Burrito
- Nightstick
- Meat Cleaver
- Man Hammer
- Mr Happy
- Mr Winky
- Wanger
- Wick
- Anger Needle
- Purple Headed Yoghurt Slinger
- Tally Wacker
- Nightcrawler
- Thrill Drill
- Junk
- Tube Steak
- Cigar
- Screwdriver
- Carpet Cleaner
- Fine Wood
- Foot Long
- Hard Drive
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Top 10 Break Up Lines For Guys
10. “We’re destined to be together. Forever.”
Women don’t like heavy-vibe guys. If you’re going out with a girl you want to get rid of but you don’t want to piss her off, lay this line on her to send her scrambling. Obviously, it’s the sort of line that’s not for guys involved in long-term relationships, as in that case the likely response will be cheers of joy. This is one of the best breakup lines and an instant disintegrator of young relationships. Keep in mind, though, that using this will brand you a pantywaist amongst your girl’s friends and the female community at large. Don’t do it if you’re dating a girl close to home base.
9. “That whole marriage thing is a crock...”
Despicably effective if the subject of marriage has yet to be canvassed, this pearler instantly constructs an Elm Street in the minds of marriage-positive women. They’ll start fretting over forever having to introduce you to friends and family as the “partner” instead of as the husband. Plus, what does this say about your views on family in general? Are kids off the cards? Will you be faithful? Will you be into a range of other left-of-centre stuff, like swinger parties in the kitchen? It’s far more effective than talk of prenuptial agreements.
8. “I just a got a new job… in Baghdad!”
OK, perhaps Baghdad is a bit extreme. Anywhere too far to commute from will suffice. We’ve heard of guys pulling this line out to instigate a breakup, then never actually going away. By the time you meet up with the girl again, you’ll either have thought up a half-decent excuse for why you never left or you’ll be so detached from the situation that you’ll happily tell her she was as sexy as a Bulgarian weightlifter.
7. “Give me a call in a few weeks. Say, six?”
When it comes to breakup lines they don’t get much better than this classic shoehorn technique. This can be used for relationships that range in length from two weeks to three months. What’s important with this one is to do a bit of prep work beforehand, to you hype up the problems you’re having. “Yeah, my kid brother is in a really bad way. He mugged a sweet old lady for some fruit cake last week,” for instance. That way, when you throw the line out there, it won’t seem to be coming from left field.
6. “Let’s face it, we both have more compatible partners out there.”
“Honey, I’ve met someone else,” might be an option if that’s actually the case (if so, you’re either incredibly brave or stupid), but if you haven’t met that other person yet and you want to ditch your current beau to continue the search unabated, the above is one of the most effective breakup lines. For one, it sounds as though you’ve considered both her well-being and your own. Secondly, it leaves her with an optimistic direction in which to head. The common retort, of course, will be “Who is it?” Be ready to calm her down and tell her that you haven’t met anyone specific, but you know enough about each other to know that you’re not the perfect match.
5. “You’re great, but I don’t feel the same way about you anymore.”
Many women live and breathe in the magical, mystical land of “feelings” -- especially when they do the breaking up. Well, if it’s good for the goose, it’s good for the gander. The great thing about feelings is that they are, by nature, somewhat undefinable. If she tries to probe you for specifics, your excuse grants you license to continuously shrug your shoulders and repeat “I don’t know why I feel this way. I just do.”
4. “I’m not at a place in my life where I can give you the attention you deserve.”
Who’s got time for anything these days? If you’re not busting your bollocks with a 60-hour working week, you’re scraping around for crumbs of sleep or a meal that won’t turn you into a human beanbag. Women love -- wait -- need attention. If you’re upfront about not being able to give her what she needs, then while you might seem unorganised, at least it appears you’re not entirely self-centred. Again, this is another one of those breakup lines that will seem a lot more credible if you indulge in some astute pre-dump planning. Seem a touch aloof and standoffish for a week or so before you throw it out there.
3. “So, how do you think we’re doing?”
This is one of those breakup lines for guys well into a relationship. Rather than deliver an all-out dumping that’s less subtle than labour pains, this little lolly uses firm subtext to open up the paddock gate for a seemingly mutual breakup discussion. It’s particularly effective if there have been recent complications and issues you can hang your discontent on. The key is to not back down once you’ve kicked off the conversation. Be vague or be specific with your grievances (depending on what you think will sound tenable), but for your own sake, keep referring to your lack of happiness in an apologetic tone. Give her as many opportunities as possible to be the first to suggest “breaking up.” As soon as she says it, agree.
2. “You know how some guys have a real problem with commitment? I’m ‘some guys’”
This old chestnut has bailed out many a male in the past and will boldly continue to do so through the ages. What’s great about it is that it’s likely to be the truth. Yes, she’ll abhor you and mark you down as another unimpressive member of the gender who can’t lock his sexual drives down to one woman, but at least the excuse won’t require any further explanation. You’re a sodding bloke -- plain and simple.
1. “I’m still in love with my ex.”
There’s no turning back from this bunker buster. Coupled with phrases like “I thought I was over her,” your girl will be pissed off that she was strung along, but will find a touch of solace that she lost out to the all-powerful “L” word rather than some D-cupped street tramp. Be ready to answer the common follow-up questions, like “how long have you felt this way?” with mumbled ambiguity. Be apologetic, act confused, and after it’s over, feel secure in the knowledge she’ll never call you again. The other great thing about this line is that, while your girl will be entirely offended, when the news leaks out to the community at large, it’s nowhere near as damaging as cheating with a one-eyed hooker on a pool table.
Women don’t like heavy-vibe guys. If you’re going out with a girl you want to get rid of but you don’t want to piss her off, lay this line on her to send her scrambling. Obviously, it’s the sort of line that’s not for guys involved in long-term relationships, as in that case the likely response will be cheers of joy. This is one of the best breakup lines and an instant disintegrator of young relationships. Keep in mind, though, that using this will brand you a pantywaist amongst your girl’s friends and the female community at large. Don’t do it if you’re dating a girl close to home base.
9. “That whole marriage thing is a crock...”
Despicably effective if the subject of marriage has yet to be canvassed, this pearler instantly constructs an Elm Street in the minds of marriage-positive women. They’ll start fretting over forever having to introduce you to friends and family as the “partner” instead of as the husband. Plus, what does this say about your views on family in general? Are kids off the cards? Will you be faithful? Will you be into a range of other left-of-centre stuff, like swinger parties in the kitchen? It’s far more effective than talk of prenuptial agreements.
8. “I just a got a new job… in Baghdad!”
OK, perhaps Baghdad is a bit extreme. Anywhere too far to commute from will suffice. We’ve heard of guys pulling this line out to instigate a breakup, then never actually going away. By the time you meet up with the girl again, you’ll either have thought up a half-decent excuse for why you never left or you’ll be so detached from the situation that you’ll happily tell her she was as sexy as a Bulgarian weightlifter.
7. “Give me a call in a few weeks. Say, six?”
When it comes to breakup lines they don’t get much better than this classic shoehorn technique. This can be used for relationships that range in length from two weeks to three months. What’s important with this one is to do a bit of prep work beforehand, to you hype up the problems you’re having. “Yeah, my kid brother is in a really bad way. He mugged a sweet old lady for some fruit cake last week,” for instance. That way, when you throw the line out there, it won’t seem to be coming from left field.
6. “Let’s face it, we both have more compatible partners out there.”
“Honey, I’ve met someone else,” might be an option if that’s actually the case (if so, you’re either incredibly brave or stupid), but if you haven’t met that other person yet and you want to ditch your current beau to continue the search unabated, the above is one of the most effective breakup lines. For one, it sounds as though you’ve considered both her well-being and your own. Secondly, it leaves her with an optimistic direction in which to head. The common retort, of course, will be “Who is it?” Be ready to calm her down and tell her that you haven’t met anyone specific, but you know enough about each other to know that you’re not the perfect match.
5. “You’re great, but I don’t feel the same way about you anymore.”
Many women live and breathe in the magical, mystical land of “feelings” -- especially when they do the breaking up. Well, if it’s good for the goose, it’s good for the gander. The great thing about feelings is that they are, by nature, somewhat undefinable. If she tries to probe you for specifics, your excuse grants you license to continuously shrug your shoulders and repeat “I don’t know why I feel this way. I just do.”
4. “I’m not at a place in my life where I can give you the attention you deserve.”
Who’s got time for anything these days? If you’re not busting your bollocks with a 60-hour working week, you’re scraping around for crumbs of sleep or a meal that won’t turn you into a human beanbag. Women love -- wait -- need attention. If you’re upfront about not being able to give her what she needs, then while you might seem unorganised, at least it appears you’re not entirely self-centred. Again, this is another one of those breakup lines that will seem a lot more credible if you indulge in some astute pre-dump planning. Seem a touch aloof and standoffish for a week or so before you throw it out there.
3. “So, how do you think we’re doing?”
This is one of those breakup lines for guys well into a relationship. Rather than deliver an all-out dumping that’s less subtle than labour pains, this little lolly uses firm subtext to open up the paddock gate for a seemingly mutual breakup discussion. It’s particularly effective if there have been recent complications and issues you can hang your discontent on. The key is to not back down once you’ve kicked off the conversation. Be vague or be specific with your grievances (depending on what you think will sound tenable), but for your own sake, keep referring to your lack of happiness in an apologetic tone. Give her as many opportunities as possible to be the first to suggest “breaking up.” As soon as she says it, agree.
2. “You know how some guys have a real problem with commitment? I’m ‘some guys’”
This old chestnut has bailed out many a male in the past and will boldly continue to do so through the ages. What’s great about it is that it’s likely to be the truth. Yes, she’ll abhor you and mark you down as another unimpressive member of the gender who can’t lock his sexual drives down to one woman, but at least the excuse won’t require any further explanation. You’re a sodding bloke -- plain and simple.
1. “I’m still in love with my ex.”
There’s no turning back from this bunker buster. Coupled with phrases like “I thought I was over her,” your girl will be pissed off that she was strung along, but will find a touch of solace that she lost out to the all-powerful “L” word rather than some D-cupped street tramp. Be ready to answer the common follow-up questions, like “how long have you felt this way?” with mumbled ambiguity. Be apologetic, act confused, and after it’s over, feel secure in the knowledge she’ll never call you again. The other great thing about this line is that, while your girl will be entirely offended, when the news leaks out to the community at large, it’s nowhere near as damaging as cheating with a one-eyed hooker on a pool table.
5 Things We Can All Learn From Barney Stinson
For all of you dipshits who are retarded, Barney is the most awesome guy to ever grace a sitcom. For you people who are on the Only - Okay level, he's the real man of How I Met Your Mother. If you have never seen the show, run; don't walk to your local video shop, or any shop for that matter and get the first season on DVD and prepare to take notes on the lessons of Barney.
1. Variety is the spice of life.
“Look, our forefathers died for the pursuit of happiness, okay? Not for us to sit around and wait on happiness. Now if you want, we can go to the same bar, drink the same beer, talk to the same people every day or you can lick the Liberty Bell. You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it.” - Barney Stinson
This simple lesson has helped to slow down time in ones life. If you do the same thing every day and every week, soon it all starts to run together and time just keeps going by faster and faster, mix it up, go to a new place, meet a new person, play a new game, get silly and love it!2. Confidence comes from within, you can be as awesome as you want to be.
“Think of me like Yoda but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro - I’m Broda!” - Barney Stinson
Barney is awesome no matter what he does doing. He's awesome at work, at laser tag--against 12 year olds, he's awesome because HE says he is awesome. Barney doesn't wait for validation from anyone, he realizes that he ultimately holds all the validation for his life! He is confident in his awesomeness and everyone else buys what he is selling!
3. Dress for success.
"Suit Up!" - Barney Stinson
Barney is almost always wearing a suit and looking his best to stand out from all the jean and t-shirt wearing drones. Dressing a notch above the rest tells the world that there is something special going on with you. It doesn't literally mean that we wear suits all the time (albeit its the epitome of awesomeness). This advice tells us that we must look our best. Looking your best will not only change the way you feel about yourself but will affect how others interact with you and their perception of you.
4. The universe gives you what you know to be a sure thing.
“My life rocks! Money, suits and sex? These are tears of joy! I could… …. but instead I’m out in the world being awesome 24/7/365!" - Barney Stinson
Barney makes a great salary doing god knows what, gets women left and right, and basically has fun every day. Sure he may seem shallow and various other insults, but he knows what he wants, makes no apologies for it and sure enough he get it in spades. This is how life works, the universe will work to give you whatever you think about and whatever you manifest. If you think negative thoughts about everyone then they will prove you right. If you feel you will have money to have everything you want then it will be so. The trick is to realize that you can’t just say it but that you must feel it. Barney does not just talk about being awesome, he is awesome. So if you want to be successful you can’t just say it but you must FEEL it and the world will somehow make it so
5. Make it legendary.
"Dude! We haven’t hit legendary yet, we’re only at the Le, we still got the Gen, the Da, the Ry." - Barney Stinson
You know those times in life where you have a grand thought, a fantasy, a wild gesture, a silly prank, anything really, anything that peaks your senses and makes you feel like you are living? If so then take advantage of these moments! When you brain is telling you to call it a night, but your heart says to keep going, listen to your heart and do something new, do something fun, do something legendary and your brain will thank you for it later.
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