Saturday, October 9, 2010

Sunday, September 19, 2010

101 Different Things To Call A Vagina

  1. Vag
  2. Vajayjay
  3. Twat
  4. Pussy
  5. Gina
  6. Giney
  7. Cockpit
  8. Dick Wallet
  9. Fur Burger
  10. Tunnel Of Love
  11. The Flower
  12. Muffin
  13. Snatch
  14. Magic Cave
  15. Cooch
  16. Coos
  17. Carpet
  18. Venus Penis Trap
  19. Venus Triangle
  20. Slit
  21. Cooter
  22. Cookie
  23. Guavas
  24. Fanny
  25. Pink Taco
  26. Flap
  27. Calamari Cock Ring
  28. Cherry Pop Tart
  29. Cock Cave
  30. Cock Holster
  31. Cock Pocket
  32. Cock Warmer
  33. Count Flapula
  34. Coos Canal
  35. Cream Cave
  36. Cream Canal
  37. Crotch Waffle
  38. Cum Crack
  39. Cunt
  40. Davey Jones Locker
  41. Dead Clam
  42. Deer Hoof
  43. Depository
  44. Dick Deposite
  45. Dick Dungeon
  46. Dick Eater
  47. Dildo Hotel
  48. DNA Dumpster
  49. Fetus Flap
  50. Field Of Dreams
  51. Flesh Tuxedo
  52. Fly Catcher
  53. Fox Hole
  54. Fruit Cup
  55. Fuck Hole
  56. Fun Hatch
  57. Furby
  58. Furry Furnace
  59. Furry Pink Mink
  60. Fuzzy Wuzzy
  61. Gash
  62. Glory Hole
  63. Golden Basket
  64. Goodie Hole
  65. Grand Canyon
  66. Hairy Potter
  67. Happy Flappy
  68. Holy Grail
  69. Home Base
  70. Honey Pot
  71. Hump Hole
  72. Lobster Pot
  73. Meat Counter
  74. Meat Massager
  75. Midnight Dip
  76. Mummy Parts
  77. Mystical Fold
  78. Worm Hole
  79. Pandoras Box
  80. Penis Parking
  81. Pocket Pie
  82. Pole Hole
  83. Poonani
  84. Poontang
  85. Poon
  86. Purple People Penis Eater
  87. Python Syphon
  88. Queef Quarters
  89. Ejaculation Station
  90. Scrambled Eggs Between the Legs
  91. Sausage Wallet
  92. Seafood Six Pack
  93. Slippery Slide
  94. Snootch
  95. Spunk Pot
  96. Sugar Hole
  97. The Big W
  98. Bone Collecter
  99. Blow Hole
  100. The Cum Dump
  101. Nice

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

101 Different Things To Call The Penis

  1. Doodle
  2. Weiner
  3. Wang
  4. Cock
  5. Dick
  6. Shaft
  7. Pole
  8. Love Gun
  9. Sausage
  10. Trouser Snake
  11. Salami
  12. Meat
  13. Boner
  14. Blue-veined Junket Pumper
  15. Ding Dong
  16. Dipstick
  17. Dong
  18. Dork
  19. Firm Worm
  20. Free Willy
  21. Goober
  22. Hang Down
  23. Hard On
  24. Joint
  25. Joy Stick
  26. Knob
  27. Love Muscle
  28. Love Stick
  29. Male Organ
  30. Meat Whistle
  31. Organic Dildo
  32. Ol' One-eye
  33. One-eyed Trouser Snake
  34. Pecker
  35. Pee-pee
  36. Pee Stick
  37. Piece Of Pork
  38. Pink Oboe
  39. Pork Sword
  40. Prick
  41. Pussy Plunger
  42. Rod
  43. Salty Dog
  44. Schlong
  45. Skin Flute
  46. Flute Skin
  47. Spunk Stick
  48. Stiffy
  49. Throbber
  50. Tool
  51. Trouser Trout
  52. Wanker
  53. Wee-wee
  54. Weinie
  55. Wife's Best Friend
  56. Willy
  57. Wood
  58. Woody
  59. Dangle
  60. Little Red Ferrari
  61. Penatrator
  62. Wedding Tackle
  63. Johnson
  64. Third Leg
  65. Little John
  66. Long John
  67. The Impreginator
  68. Palm Pilot
  69. The Incredible Hulk
  70. Weapon of Ass Destruction
  71. Bone-Her
  72. {insert name here} Junior
  73. Piss Pump
  74. Fire Hose
  75. Sex Pistol
  76. Pocket Rocket
  77. Shanghi Suprise
  78. Trunk
  79. Cum Shuttle
  80. Twinkie
  81. Breakfast Burrito
  82. Nightstick
  83. Meat Cleaver 
  84. Man Hammer
  85. Mr Happy
  86. Mr Winky
  87. Wanger
  88. Wick
  89. Anger Needle
  90. Purple Headed Yoghurt Slinger
  91. Tally Wacker
  92. Nightcrawler
  93. Thrill Drill
  94. Junk
  95. Tube Steak
  96. Cigar
  97. Screwdriver
  98. Carpet Cleaner
  99. Fine Wood
  100. Foot Long
  101. Hard Drive

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Top 10 Break Up Lines For Guys

10. “We’re destined to be together. Forever.”
Women don’t like heavy-vibe guys. If you’re going out with a girl you want to get rid of but you don’t want to piss her off, lay this line on her to send her scrambling. Obviously, it’s the sort of line that’s not for guys involved in long-term relationships, as in that case the likely response will be cheers of joy. This is one of the best breakup lines and an instant disintegrator of young relationships. Keep in mind, though, that using this will brand you a pantywaist amongst your girl’s friends and the female community at large. Don’t do it if you’re dating a girl close to home base.

9. “That whole marriage thing is a crock...”
Despicably effective if the subject of marriage has yet to be canvassed, this pearler instantly constructs an Elm Street in the minds of marriage-positive women. They’ll start fretting over forever having to introduce you to friends and family as the “partner” instead of as the husband. Plus, what does this say about your views on family in general? Are kids off the cards? Will you be faithful? Will you be into a range of other left-of-centre stuff, like swinger parties in the kitchen? It’s far more effective than talk of prenuptial agreements.

8. “I just a got a new job… in Baghdad!”
OK, perhaps Baghdad is a bit extreme. Anywhere too far to commute from will suffice. We’ve heard of guys pulling this line out to instigate a breakup, then never actually going away. By the time you meet up with the girl again, you’ll either have thought up a half-decent excuse for why you never left or you’ll be so detached from the situation that you’ll happily tell her she was as sexy as a Bulgarian weightlifter.




7. “Give me a call in a few weeks. Say, six?”
When it comes to breakup lines they don’t get much better than this classic shoehorn technique. This can be used for relationships that range in length from two weeks to three months. What’s important with this one is to do a bit of prep work beforehand, to you hype up the problems you’re having. “Yeah, my kid brother is in a really bad way. He mugged a sweet old lady for some fruit cake last week,” for instance. That way, when you throw the line out there, it won’t seem to be coming from left field.

6. “Let’s face it, we both have more compatible partners out there.”
“Honey, I’ve met someone else,” might be an option if that’s actually the case (if so, you’re either incredibly brave or stupid), but if you haven’t met that other person yet and you want to ditch your current beau to continue the search unabated, the above is one of the most effective breakup lines. For one, it sounds as though you’ve considered both her well-being and your own. Secondly, it leaves her with an optimistic direction in which to head. The common retort, of course, will be “Who is it?” Be ready to calm her down and tell her that you haven’t met anyone specific, but you know enough about each other to know that you’re not the perfect match.

5. “You’re great, but I don’t feel the same way about you anymore.”
Many women live and breathe in the magical, mystical land of “feelings” -- especially when they do the breaking up. Well, if it’s good for the goose, it’s good for the gander. The great thing about feelings is that they are, by nature, somewhat undefinable. If she tries to probe you for specifics, your excuse grants you license to continuously shrug your shoulders and repeat “I don’t know why I feel this way. I just do.”

4. “I’m not at a place in my life where I can give you the attention you deserve.”
Who’s got time for anything these days? If you’re not busting your bollocks with a 60-hour working week, you’re scraping around for crumbs of sleep or a meal that won’t turn you into a human beanbag. Women love -- wait -- need attention. If you’re upfront about not being able to give her what she needs, then while you might seem unorganised, at least it appears you’re not entirely self-centred. Again, this is another one of those breakup lines that will seem a lot more credible if you indulge in some astute pre-dump planning. Seem a touch aloof and standoffish for a week or so before you throw it out there.

3. “So, how do you think we’re doing?”
This is one of those breakup lines for guys well into a relationship. Rather than deliver an all-out dumping that’s less subtle than labour pains, this little lolly uses firm subtext to open up the paddock gate for a seemingly mutual breakup discussion. It’s particularly effective if there have been recent complications and issues you can hang your discontent on. The key is to not back down once you’ve kicked off the conversation. Be vague or be specific with your grievances (depending on what you think will sound tenable), but for your own sake, keep referring to your lack of happiness in an apologetic tone. Give her as many opportunities as possible to be the first to suggest “breaking up.” As soon as she says it, agree.

2. “You know how some guys have a real problem with commitment? I’m ‘some guys’”
This old chestnut has bailed out many a male in the past and will boldly continue to do so through the ages. What’s great about it is that it’s likely to be the truth. Yes, she’ll abhor you and mark you down as another unimpressive member of the gender who can’t lock his sexual drives down to one woman, but at least the excuse won’t require any further explanation. You’re a sodding bloke -- plain and simple.

1. “I’m still in love with my ex.”
There’s no turning back from this bunker buster. Coupled with phrases like “I thought I was over her,” your girl will be pissed off that she was strung along, but will find a touch of solace that she lost out to the all-powerful “L” word rather than some D-cupped street tramp. Be ready to answer the common follow-up questions, like “how long have you felt this way?” with mumbled ambiguity. Be apologetic, act confused, and after it’s over, feel secure in the knowledge she’ll never call you again. The other great thing about this line is that, while your girl will be entirely offended, when the news leaks out to the community at large, it’s nowhere near as damaging as cheating with a one-eyed hooker on a pool table.

5 Things We Can All Learn From Barney Stinson

For all of you dipshits who are retarded, Barney is the most awesome guy to ever grace a sitcom. For you people who are on the Only - Okay level, he's the real man of How I Met Your Mother. If you have never seen the show, run; don't walk to your local video shop, or any shop for that matter and get the first season on DVD and prepare to take notes on the lessons of Barney.



1. Variety is the spice of life.
“Look, our forefathers died for the pursuit of happiness, okay? Not for us to sit around and wait on happiness. Now if you want, we can go to the same bar, drink the same beer, talk to the same people every day or you can lick the Liberty Bell. You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it.” - Barney Stinson
This simple lesson has helped to slow down time in ones life. If you do the same thing every day and every week, soon it all starts to run together and time just keeps going by faster and faster, mix it up, go to a new place, meet a new person, play a new game, get silly and love it!


2. Confidence comes from within, you can be as awesome as you want to be.
“Think of me like Yoda but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro - I’m Broda!” - Barney Stinson
Barney is awesome no matter what he does doing. He's awesome at work, at laser tag--against 12 year olds, he's awesome because HE says he is awesome. Barney doesn't wait for validation from anyone, he realizes that he ultimately holds all the validation for his life! He is confident in his awesomeness and everyone else buys what he is selling!


3. Dress for success.
"Suit Up!" - Barney Stinson
Barney is almost always wearing a suit and looking his best to stand out from all the jean and t-shirt wearing drones. Dressing a notch above the rest tells the world that there is something special going on with you. It doesn't literally mean that we wear suits all the time (albeit its the epitome of awesomeness). This advice tells us that we must look our best. Looking your best will not only change the way you feel about yourself but will affect how others interact with you and their perception of you.


4. The universe gives you what you know to be a sure thing.
“My life rocks! Money, suits and sex? These are tears of joy! I could… …. but instead I’m out in the world being awesome 24/7/365!" - Barney Stinson
Barney makes a great salary doing god knows what, gets women left and right, and basically has fun every day. Sure he may seem shallow and various other insults, but he knows what he wants, makes no apologies for it and sure enough he get it in spades. This is how life works, the universe will work to give you whatever you think about and whatever you manifest. If you think negative thoughts about everyone then they will prove you right. If you feel you will have money to have everything you want then it will be so. The trick is to realize that you can’t just say it but that you must feel it. Barney does not just talk about being awesome, he is awesome. So if you want to be successful you can’t just say it but you must FEEL it and the world will somehow make it so
 
 
5. Make it legendary.
"Dude! We haven’t hit legendary yet, we’re only at the Le, we still got the Gen, the Da, the Ry."  - Barney Stinson
You know those times in life where you have a grand thought, a fantasy, a wild gesture, a silly prank, anything really, anything that peaks your senses and makes you feel like you are living? If so then take advantage of these moments! When you brain is telling you to call it a night, but your heart says to keep going, listen to your heart and do something new, do something fun, do something legendary and your brain will thank you for it later.

Monday, September 6, 2010

Kiwi Jokes

Why does New Zealand have some of the fastest race horses in the world?
Because the horses have seen what they do with their sheep..


Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is rudely awoken at 4am by the telephone.
"Hillen, its the Hilth Munister here. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergency! I've just received word thet the Durex fectory en Auckland has burned to the ground. It is istimated thet the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week."
PM: "Shut - the economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies - wi'll be ruined!"
Hilth Munister: "We're going to hef to shup some in from abroad... Brutain?..."
PM: "No chence!! The Poms will have a field day on thus one!"
Hilth Munister: "What about Australia?"
PM: "Maybe - but we don't want them to know thet we are stuck."
Hilth Munister: "You call John Howard - tell hum we need one moollion condoms; ten enches long and eight enches thuck! That way they'll know how bug the Kiwis really are!!"
Helen calls John, who agrees to help the Kiwis out in their hour of need.
Three days later a plane arrives in Auckland - full of boxes.
A delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes. She finds condoms; 10 unches long; 8 unches thuck, all coloured green and gold. She then notices in small writing on each and ivery one.........
MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE : MEDIUM
 
 
A Kiwi walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep in his arms and says:
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies:
"I think you'll find that's not a pig but a sheep, you idiot."
The man says: " Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
 
 
How do Kiwi's find sheep in long grass?
Delightful!


How do New Zealanders practise safe sex?
They put a cross on the ones that kick.



 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
What is the definition of virgin wool in New Zealand?
The sheep that can run the fastest.
 
 
What do you call 15 New Zealanders sitting around watching the Rugby World Cup Finals?
The All Blacks
 
 
Why did the man go to an Adidas store and try to buy condoms?
He was too embarrassed to ask for an All Black jersey.


A man’s body was found in the harbour wearing an All Blacks jersy, pink panties, fishnet stockings and a dildo up his arse. Police removed the jumper to avoid any embarrassment to his family.



God wanted Jesus to be born in New Zealand but he couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.


A man's on a driving holiday in New Zealand when he sees a man standing by the road gripping a sheep.
'G'day' says the tourist. 'Are you shearing?'
'No, piss off and find your own.'
 
 
What's the worst thing about New Zealand?
It's above sea level.


What do you call a New Zealander with half a brain?
Gifted.


Why do birds fly upside down over New Zealand?
There is nothing worth shitting on.


Why are there always clouds over New Zealand?
God is trying to cover up his mistake.


What is the smallest muscle in a sheeps ass?
A New Zealanders

Sunday, September 5, 2010

101 Different Names For Boobs

  1. Boobs
  2. Tits
  3. Breast
  4. Chesticals
  5. Jugs
  6. Melons
  7. Fun Bags
  8. Cans
  9. Rack
  10. Puppies
  11. Jimmies
  12. Ta-tas
  13. Headlights
  14. Bazooms
  15. Dairies
  16. Zepplins
  17. Milk Makers
  18. Hooters
  19. Air Bags
  20. B1 and B2
  21. Babaloos
  22. Baby Feeders
  23. Badoinkies
  24. Baloobas
  25. Bazookas
  26. Bazoombas
  27. Billabongs
  28. Blinkers
  29. Boobsters
  30. Boulders
  31. Bumpers
  32. Chumbawumbas
  33. Coconuts
  34. Cupcakes
  35. Dairy Pillows
  36. Devil's Dumplings
  37. Dinglebobbers
  38. Flapdoodles
  39. Gobstoppers
  40. God's Milk Bottles
  41. Goombas
  42. Grillwork
  43. Honkers
  44. Kagemushas
  45. Knockers
  46. Magambos
  47. Milk Bombs
  48. Mounds
  49. Pushmatahas
  50. Shabba-dos
  51. Rib Bumpers
  52. Rivets
  53. Rotors
  54. Shlobes
  55. Snow Tires
  56. Soombas
  57. Speed Bumps
  58. Splazoingas
  59. Squashies
  60. Teetees
  61. Tishomingos
  62. Titties
  63. Torpedoes
  64. Tweeters
  65. Volvos
  66. Wah Wahs
  67. Windshield Wipers
  68. Whim Whams
  69. Winnebagos
  70. Yahoos
  71. Zingers
  72. Twinkies
  73. Palookas
  74. Pair
  75. Nay-Nays
  76. Muffins
  77. Mau Maus
  78. Mahatmas
  79. Kawangas
  80. Jahoobies
  81. Hubcaps
  82. High Beams
  83. Good Years
  84. Durantes
  85. Dugs
  86. Bosoms
  87. Boops
  88. Bijongas
  89. Bee Stings
  90. Whoppers
  91. Yummies
  92. Warheads
  93. Tittymackers
  94. Riding Handles
  95. Magic Mountains
  96. Lactation Station
  97. Joy Buzzers
  98. Cabbobbas
  99. Bongos
  100. Twins
  101. Fun







    School Proxy Bypass

    Open up Notepad and copy the text below into it exactly:

    title Proxy
    cls
    nslookup

    hit "save as" and call it "File.bat" (without quotation marks)
    When you open the file, type in the website you want to go to.
    it should come up with a bunch of numbers that look like an I.P address. enter it into your search bar and it should successfully bypass the proxy and take you to the website.

    Stay tuned for more tips and tricks on bypassing proxies